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This is the time of year when it's most difficult to stay on
track with our goals.
It's also the time of year when we're all in a rush to make
new ones.
It seems to me that we all have a certain ideal, a certain way
of living, that gets completely blown each holiday season.
We can't stick to a diet because, every time we turn around,
we're met with a truffle. Either the house is in shambles with
suitcases, pine needles, candle wax, and dirty dishes, or
we're not even home. We're out of our routine. Our minds are
chattery. Our bodies are in crisis mode, searching in vain for
some broccoli and a treadmill.
Do you suppose that, perhaps, this isn't the best time of year
for any serious and purposeful reflection?
During the holidays, we are buried to the neck in "shoulds."
We should not get snappy at Aunt Bernice. We should not be
eating crème sauce on the vegetables. We should be spending
at least an hour a day at the gym.
It seems to me that most New Year's Resolutions are cleverly
disguised and noble-sounding "shoulds." And who
needs more of those right now?
In fact, this year, for me, there will be a paring down--and
not a building up--of the shoulds. Over the past month, I have
re-examined my shoulds to determine which belong there, and
which, out of kindness and gentleness and plain-and-simple
personal integrity, do not. It started with a day of
deliberateness; a day in which I questioned all of my
assumptions. Before I popped anything into my mouth, I asked
myself whether I liked its taste--or whether I was simply
accustomed to it.
I walked through my home, taking a long and deliberate look at
the furnishings, decor, and knick knacks to see whether I
really liked them and whether they served any meaningful
purpose.
Then I took the same eye to my list of shoulds. I'll admit
that I'm plagued with a few assumptions that continue to hold
on with both fists, as much I've tried to shake them off the
list.
The experience was really rather liberating. To attempt to
adopt an unbiased perspective and asking: Do I really like
this? Is this really good for me? Is this really important to
me?
At the end of such a day, I demanded honesty from myself as I
answered: What do I truly value? What is most important to me?
How important is my spirituality, my family, my professional
identity?
Then I crafted a new mission statement, written for me and my
work. Who am I? Who am I to be?
This is such a wonderful instrument for clarifying your
purpose in life. The statement may include your values, your
priorities, your philosophy, your commitments, your goals. How
do you wish your children to live? Are you living in such a
way?
It allows you to identify and define your life philosophy.
Your spiritual beliefs. That which you find useful. That which
you find beautiful.
When you write such a statement, do so in the present tense.
Sign the statement in bold ink and place it where you'll read
it at the start of every day. Then expect a shake-up of your
shoulds. You may be surprised at the subtraction of certain
long-standing and familiar goals, and the addition of some
unexpected new ones.
Don't rush the process. Let it rise organically from a careful
study of your life and the way you endeavor to live it,
deliberately.
Recommendation:
One wonderful tool is the 2004 Inner Organizer, a daily
calendar/planner filled with daily, weekly, and monthly cues
for listening to your life, your intentions, your yearnings
and creating a life of purpose from the inside out. It was
created by Jennifer Louden, author of Comfort Secrets for Busy
Women. (For a sample, click here:
http://www.momscape.com/a/cq.htm)
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Susie
Michelle Cortright is the author of several books for women
and founder of the award-winning Momscape.com, a website
designed to help busy women find balance. Visit http://www.momscape.com
today and get Susie's *free* course-by-email "6 Days to
Less Stress" as well as the *free* pdf ebook, "Spa
Recipes for All Seasons."
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