I bought a new cell phone last week, and if that weren't bad enough, I'd ordered it over the phone, an EQ test in itself, as I spent hours calling the provider to get the phone activated, tracking the missing rebate and papers, and getting the plan
straightened out.

However, look what I came across on their website - instructions on how to be a safe and courteous driver.  It was subtitled "Stressful or Emotional Conversation."

"Don't engage in stressful or emotional conversations, they may be distracting," they said.  "Stressful, emotional or complex
conversations and driving don't mix - they are distracting and even dangerous when you are behind the wheel of a car."

What a perfect example of using your emotional intelligence to stay safe!  We know that anger and frustration "hijack" us, and flood us with emotion making it impossible to think clearly or make good decisions.  At the same time, trying to explain to
your driving companion or phone-mate how to combine Einstein's General Theory of Relativity and Feynman's multiple histories into one all-encompassing answer to the universe would be equally distracting.

Distracting from what?  Driving is, don't forget, a motor skill.  We are coordinating eyes, hands, and feet, and though the basic movements of it become automatic, there is a tremendous amount of processing we must do - listening, watching and staying alert for changes.  Even quiet self-absorbed thinking can cause some people to tune out and drive over a curb or turn left on a red light.

Some of us aren't even good at talking while driving.  I'm watching my 2-year-old grandson learn how to talk, thinking all the while he walks around, and he hasn't got it smooth yet.  He heads for the ladder, stops, says "I climbing ladder," then starts his legs going again.

In order to be skillful and safe drivers we must manage both our emotions (reptilian and limbic brains) and our thinking (neocortex) so that we stay focused on a task that's largely motor skills and requires instant reflexes.

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(c)Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc  Emotional intelligence coaching for individuals and businesses; EQ coach training (www.eqcoach.net). Distance learning.  Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for free ezine.